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By Randy Howe

What is it about athletes and their amazing ability to twist and torture the English language? Here is an eminently readable, laugh-out-loud, always entertaining, can't-put-it-down collection of 1001 of the must stupefyingly dumb quotes from the world's best athletes. While they might be at the top of the athletic world, their profound inability to communicate clearly and articulately puts them on the bench. Here's a small sampling:

* New Orleans Saint RB George Rogers, when asked about the upcoming season: "I want to rush for 1,000 or 1,500 yards, whichever comes first."

* Shaquille O'Neal on whether he had visited the Parthenon during his visit to Greece: "I can't really remember the names of the clubs that we went to."

* Pat Williams, Orlando Magic general manager, on his team's 7-27 record in 1992: "We can't win at home. We can't win on the road. I just can't figure out where else to play."

* Yankees third baseman Alex Rodriguez: "Therapy can be a good thing; it can be therapeutic."

* John Kruk: "I'm not an athlete. I'm a professional baseball player."

* Yogi Berra: "Baseball is 90 percent mental--the other half is physical."

Readers will want more, and 1001 Stupid Sports Quotes will provide hours of entertainment.